Guide -- Dating guide for Asian men - Part 5 - What women really want
Dating guide for Asian men - Part 5 - What women really want
This is split into two parts. The first describes what women want. The second will list the men’s traits as bullet points.
A well adjusted woman wants high masculinity with self-control / decency [at least towards her]. An asshole is someone with extreme masculinity without control. A nice guy has zero masculinity with high self control.
Women often describe this ideal man as…
● a bad boy with a heart
● a tough guy with a soft spot for only me
● dangerous and exciting but actually a real softie
● honorable warrior / white knight
This ideal man is her superior who she can respect, willingly follow, and support. Think of it as a “sweet surrender”.
“If you look at romance novels – basically the female version of porn – they all follow more or less the exact same pattern: hard and rugged bad-boy type male hero is troubled but strong, and as he slowly opens up and shares his true emotions and desires with the heroine, she’s able to support him, to save him and ultimately fall in love with him. Of course, they live happily ever after. This is more or less the blueprint of seduction: a strong, high status, attractive exterior (lifestyle and looks), fearless, and able to open up and share your vulnerable side with her (and theoretically, only her). Women get weak in the knees for this. And it’s not even conscious in them most of the time.”
Tara Reid made a very astute remark
“I like it when a guy makes me feel like a little girl and a woman at the same time”
The leadership, teasing, protecting, providing, and fun satisfies the little girl. The sexual and dominant strength satisfies the woman.
Note: Women aren’t attracted to men who cheat. It’s just that men who cheat tend to have other “strong” qualities, which is the traits they’re after - not the cheating / abuse. She also doesn’t want a man who is prettier than her because she’ll feel less feminine the same way a taller woman emasculates a man.
Most Important Factors in Order of Importance:
Biological factors are strongest because a hot man can sleep with women even if he lacks everything else. Social factors are second strongest because a hideous man with status will still face more discrimination. However, they are the fastest shortcuts to attraction second only to biological factors, but you will often attract women of questionable intentions.
● Looks / body [look like you can protect her at a minimum]
● Dominant confidence / social skills / seduction game [dominance meaning masculine like you leading her, pursuing her not abusing her or being a dick]
Outside of looks, this is the most scientifically proven sexual attraction factor.
● Assets / Lifestyle / money
● Status - Being known and respected equals status. Can be achieved by being a vip at a restaurant, promoter, major donor, head volunteer, etc. Related to this is that women want what other women want. If you’re popular with women, she will want you. The reasoning behind this is that those women who like you are like votes. The more you have, the better.
There are varying levels of fame, power or status.You don’t need to be a famous celebrity to enjoy some form of it.
● Fame [a form of status] - Being a local business expert or speaker can get you local fame.
● Power [a form of status] - Managers, bosses, teachers, police, etc.
By the way, these videos are hilarious and true. They debunk pua nonsense such as “looks don’t matter”.
https://www.youtube.com/user/FACEandLMS/videos [What Attracts Women series]
Desired, accepted, loved with flaws and all.
The biggest turn on for women is being wholly (not just the physical) desired in a non-needy and confident way by a high-value guy. Avoid judging her - especially her appearance. Help her earn your appreciation for her non-sexual qualities. For example, steer the conversation into volunteering, pets, etc. When you learn that she volunteers to help disabled kids or has a pet, you can tell her how you love that she has surprisingly big heart and can see beyond her self.
Be Present AKA Be in the Moment with Her
Give her 100% of your attention when you’re with her. Focus on the emotional state that you two are sharing and amplify that energy. Avoid being stuck in your head analyzing.
She Wants to Feel Like the Female
You take care of being a man and she’ll automatically feel like the female. If you fail, then she’ll have to man up hate you for it. Similarly, if you are too romantic then she’ll also feel less feminine. Dotting on someone is a classic woman’s trait. Conversely, when courting her, if you don’t chase, then they’ll feel less feminine. It’s all about balance.
She wants you but ironically, she must never “have” you. Be with her without being owned / controlled by her. It’s the same way a student looses respect for a master he can defeat.
Emotional Roller-coaster / Adventure
Never bore a woman. Making her angry or sad is better than boring her.
Women live through their emotions - the whole spectrum of them. They fall in love through their ears (but they still like hot guys). Women need emotional stimulus the way men need sex. Engage their emotions more than their intellect or facts. See the conversation skills to engage their emotions like a master.
She Needs Constant Reassurance and Respect / Validation and Appreciation
Women need validation.all the time to counter her never-ending doubts. A woman’s sexual identity and self-worth often (not always) rests upon other people’s perception of her.
Give her physical validation by lustfully gazing at her, touch her like she was irresistible, etc. Acknowledge and compliment her non-physical strengths like her honesty, intelligence, loyalty, big heart, etc. Notice and appreciate her efforts like a mind reader. For example, say “That dress really brings out your waist”, “Thanks honey, that soup really helps fight off my cold.”, etc.
Focus on her positives…and do so in a way that makes it sound personal and unique to only them. You should make her feel like she’s irreplaceable:
“YOUR voice is enchanting”.
“YOUR smile is so disarming.”
“I can’t get enough of YOUR stunning eyes”
“I’ve never felt such a strong connection before until I met YOU.”
“YOU’RE so different from other girls”
Tell her you love her and mean it. They need to hear this.
Give her lots of touch - stroke her face, stroke her hair / brush her hair behind her head, hold her hands, kiss her hands, kiss her face
Give her long loving gazes (relaxed, blink slowly) and your face should have a kind of joy/happiness with your guard down. She should feel loved if you do the gaze right.
Show that she’s on your mind with small gestures: texts, hand written notes, calls, small gifts. Women love bragging rights as much as guys do. Send gifts to her workplace and she’ll be the envy of her co-workers unless you’re a stalker.
Do them when you sense that she’s not as cheerful or if she’s down otherwise you risk looking feminine by overdoing it.
There’s a book called the Five Love Languages. It explains the 5 ways you can make a woman feel loved:
- Physical Touch - this person feels love when others touch them lovingly.
- Acts of Service - this person feels love when others help them out or serve them.
- Words of Affirmation - this person feels love when others verbally approve or affirm them.
- Quality Time - this person feels love when others spend time with them.
- Gifts - this person feels love when others give them thoughtful things.
The key is to understand which of these languages they respond to best and give it to them occasionally - like adding wood to a fire.
She Wants Great Sex
It’s important that you satisfy her. Read the Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. Although that book talks about using sex to control a woman, I advise you not to. It’s too scummy.
What women Hate
● Women hate the opposite of all the things I listed above, but here they are again as a recap:
● Spineless push overs/easily controlled or easily manipulated
● Timid weaklings
● Takes no risks
● Unable to lead her and follows instead.
● Sneaky instead of direct and bold
● Laziness / No ambition
● Poor self control
● To be treated like just as sex object
● Ass kisser - especially undeserved ass kissing.
● Apologetic about his own natural desires and thoughts
Traits of Ideal Men - “strong” traits and “weak” traits
The following traits are advantageous for men in general.
Contrary to what you see in media, a “strong” male is the laid back guy who treats everyone equally and only gets tough when required. He’s not a bully. He tries to build others up - not tear them down. He lives and lets live. He will walk his own path regardless of criticism.
There are two parts to this idealized man. There is the “strong” side and the “weak” side. Yes, some “weak” traits aren’t bad. They only become bad when guys overdo them.
Asian men generally have excessive “weak” traits and lack “strong” traits
Asian men in general occupy the entire “weak” row both the “too much” and “just right”. You just need to add much more of top right box (“strong” at the “just right” levels)
The “strong” Qualities
● Physicality, which he uses only as a last resort [against other men].
● Intelligence and objectivity
● Dominant confidence / healthy aggressiveness. He takes charge, remains composed, and acts decisively.
Relaed, be sexually aggressive within reason. Do not harass, but be non-desperately persistent. Women love to be desired and to feel irresistibly sexy.
● Resilience. Each failure is a step towards success. Experienced salesmen expect dozens of rejections before making a sale. This is especially important for approaching women. See powerful mental frames for Asian men.
● Protective. Protect your loved ones [eg your girl] against all harm - creepy white men, jealous women, racist society, self hate, etc
● Has a bigger purpose than himself and her. Women are secondary goals…they come with the territory of a well-lived life.
● Authenticity. Refer to mental frames for Asian men for clarity
● Non-neediness. Be complete by yourself with minimum to no external approval. The next point really helps here.
● Have a life. This cures lots of problems like being too available, eagerly waiting for calls, being upset over cancellations. Build a life so that you “have better things to do” all the time.
● Has standards and doesn’t tolerate bullshit / disrespect. Women, despite their fake protests, love being put in their place when they’re acting up.
● Make no excuses by holding himself accountable for all his success and failures. See mental frames for Asian men
● Ambitious and always evolving.
The “weak” qualities
● Cares and provide for them (also a “strong” trait)
● Romantic / attentive / thoughtful
● Selfless to an extent (also an “strong” trait). The key is that they have earned your self-sacrifice.
● Be tender. Cuddle, tell her sweet things, treat her like a delicate flower in public with chivalrous gestures (but rough them up in bed occasionally - not abusively! Like fun-roughing up), etc
● Loyalty (also a “strong” trait). Prove this with actions eg don’t hit on her friends, go out late at night with known womanizers, etc.
● She should feel like the only girl in the world when you’re together. Always be in the moment with her.
● Know what she wants without her telling you. Yes, it’s a pain in the ass, but you need to constantly monitor her like a baby. Is she cold? (give her your coat), is she hungry? (feed her), etc. When they have to tell you, it means you messed up.