Classic/epic blog post from Asian American girl who only likes Asian men
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This is a very old blog post by a Korean American girl who goes by the name of somekoreanchick on her xanga years ago (she has long deleted her xanga). I think some of you may have already seen it, but in case you haven’t, it’s worth a read. Needless to say, she received hundreds of hate comments but she also received thousands of supportive ones.
** Disclaimer: This might offend some people. And if it DOES offend you, I probably wouldn’t like you anyway. So in the words of the illustrious Tupac, “I don’t give a f**k.” Read at your own risk.
Last week at work, a white male co-worker was shocked when I told him that I prefer dating Korean/Asian men. When I then pointed out that all my ex-boyfriends have been Korean, he was literally stunned (edit – this was the same coworker who told me that he thought this socially awkward geek we know in the office would end up w/an asian girl since so many of us are so desperate to date white…he then stated that he can say this to me because I clearly do not fall in that category).
STUNNED. He acted as though I had made a huge sacrifice by forgoing the opportunity to be with a white guy, also known as “God’s gift to women” in his eyes (gag me now).
Little did I know that my nonchalant, casual comment would soon spread like wildfire. I had people coming up to me (both men and women) saying, “Is it really true that you only date Asian guys?” They treated my casual comment on my dating preference as a true shocker of the year. In my humble opinion, there is no way that such a reaction (shock, stunned, surprised, etc) would have occurred if I were, say Jewish or Black, and said that I preferred Jewish or Black men. So why is it such a shocker that I, as an Asian woman, would prefer dating an Asian man? Because this country has had a long (and I mean LONG) history of desexualizing and trivializing Asian men to the point that the masses just accept these stereotypes as being true. Let’s face it – Asian guys do have it a lot harder in this country than Asian women. Asian women have a history of being portrayed and seen as the sweet, submissive, Me-Love-You-Long- Time girl. And on the flip side, we have been viewed as being overly sexual for the white man’s pleasure (again, gag me now).
Hollywood stereotypes stemming from characters like Long Duck Dong in Sixteen Candles have caused irreparable harm to the image of an Asian guy in this country (F**k you, John Hughes).
While white men were the white knight, capable of saving the day AND getting the girl, the Asian guy was just the chump or the one-dimensional moron incapable of being attractive.
However, growing up in a heavily Asian populated city, I always had Korean/Asian friends. I socialized with them, watched Korean dramas and idolized Korean boybands. In other words, I had an ALTERNATIVE viewpoint from Hollywood and the white man’s land that showed me that Asian men CAN be sexy, gallant, generous, talented, multifaceted and complex. My alternative media showed me different portrayals of Korean/Asian men not shown in America, which allowed me to not buy into the stereotypes and ridiculous bullshit that was being sold.
What you looking at?
However, I have noticed that some Asian women DO buy into that shit. And it’s both sad and irritating. While I have nothing against two random people falling in love by chance (Asian/White/Black/Whatever), I DO think it’s pathetic and lame when an Asian American woman proclaims, “I only date white men” or “I don’t date Asian guys.” Not only do I think it’s pathetic, I think they soundpathetic and just really, really stupid. Then when you ask these women why, they list a bunch of reasons that sounds more like it came from Hollywood Stereotypes 101 (unintentionally affirming that yes, they really ARE that stupid). Edit – Discriminating against YOUR OWN race is pathetic because it makes you a self-loathing person. To want to date someone who SHARES your background, race, religion, etc. is NOT the same as excluding those who do. (So to the people calling me hypocritical, get a fucking clue. Thank you.)
The truth is, one of the reasons I would never want to date a white guy because I would never want to be perceived by the outside world as being THAT girl (THAT girl has the attributes that I am strongly against and would NEVER want to be associated with. Yes, these are the girls that make me want to vomit). Yes, I will sound like a bitch but fuck it, let me be honest – while THAT GIRL tends to mistakenly flaunt being with a white guy, I wouldn’t want to walk with my white boyfriend in public for fear of looking like THAT girl. The thought of having anything in common with girls that make me want to vomit is not okay with me. Moreover, I don’t want to be a seen as someone who bought into the bullshit that white media have been trying to sell about Asian guys for decades.
NONE of my friends are THAT GIRL. In fact, in our circle, being THAT GIRL meant you couldn’t get an Asian guy to like you anyway. Sad.
One of my biggest fears is looking like this idiot:
Truth is, I feel sorry for women like that. I am personally not friends with women like that nor do I want to be. I think that they are an embarrassment. To stereotype and demean people who share your racial background is a travesty and clearly, they suffer from low self esteem or self-hatred of some sort.
Seriously, readers, what sucks more? Racist idiots or the self-loathing folks so desperate to sell out their own people and culture for white approval? Hmmm…tough call, ain’t it? (I choose the latter).
Let’s not forget that (in my own experience), the white guys who ARE into Asian girls tend to be Creepy. Weird. Losers. Weird. Dorks. And Weird. Personally, a cool white guy has never approached me because these objectively cool white guys have plenty of options (mostly other cool white women). They don’t need to look outside their own dating pool to dip into some Suzie-Wong- Me-Love –You-Long-Time action. And if I hear “I once dated an Asian girl” come out of another white guy’s mouth as his opening line, I just might punch him. So if my choice is between some weird, creepy, stereotype-clutching white guy or holding out for my Asian prince (see below, Mr. Coffee Prince, July 4, haha), I will hold out for my prince any day of the week.
And of course there’s the convenience factors – a Korean/Asian guy is more likely to understand my own struggles as a minority in the industry and in this country; we will likely enjoy eating the same foods (even if it’s kimchee everyday); and hopefully, he will be able to communicate with my parents and the rest of my family… at the very least, understand what they are saying OR implicitly understand the cultural values that are almost innate to us.
Plus, I am attracted to Asian guys…and no, NOT LONG DUCK DONG.
** Note: I have nothing against interracial dating…but it is just not for me. Furthermore, these rules don’t apply to Asian men who score non-Asian women. Kudos to them for finding someone who isn’t blindly following the definition of what an Asian man is “supposed to be.”
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I heard Asian guys have small penises
writes on palm of hand “Patient exhibits homoerotic tendencies.”
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@HanHuang When I catch them saying that, I normally ask if all white men are secretly gay because even though my friends and I are straight women, we don’t think about penises nearly as much as they do. Then to make sure everyone knows I’m not anti-gay, I just tell the white guys, “It’s okay to be gay! You just need to come out of the closet so you won’t be so frustrated all the time!”
In all seriousness though, why would a straight man be so obsessed with another man’s genitals?!?!
In the end, I do believe it ties back to what I said about the jealousy thing. They have no other way to drag Asian men down so they go for low blow attacks.
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@HanHuang said in Classic/epic blog post from Asian American girl who only likes Asian men:
HAH!
the white guys who ARE into Asian girls tend to be Creepy. Weird. Losers. Weird. Dorks. And Weird.
Not to generalize, but that sounds eerily accurate - race fetishists usually are weird…
Whiteys are hypocrtical as fuck. Why try to play by their rules of " equality?". We should generalize the hell out of them. Oh one whitey is rapist? All of them are rapists!
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With Asian men, it’s a little tougher since Asian men, on average, are more financially successful than whites and are seen as more intelligent than whites, so Asian men who are also physically appealing to the opposite sex will piss off most white guys (because that would imply that a lot of Asian men are perfect or almost perfect). So they have to find some ways to put Asian men down, whether by accusing them of being “oppressive” or “beta” or sometimes both…which is laughable because that’s so contradictory. It doesn’t matter to most white guys though, as long as they can put Asian men down (even if their logic is completely flawed).
The common diss is “Asian men got micro-penises”. Really strange that they would be so concerned with my penis size!
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HAH!
the white guys who ARE into Asian girls tend to be Creepy. Weird. Losers. Weird. Dorks. And Weird.
Not to generalize, but that sounds eerily accurate - race fetishists usually are weird…
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@neonfuzion Glad you like it
@butterwithbutter I do too. It’s a little strange to feel alone in standing up for my own men when so few Asian women will back me up. It’s mostly annoying because no one would believe I’m an actual Asian female (until I show my photo) because so few of us speak up
@secondstrike It’s completely a jealousy thing on the white male part. They know black men can easily get white women, but they also know they can use most blacks’ financial statuses against them to paint them in a negative light if needed to (calling them “unintelligent”, “criminal”, “ghetto”, etc…)
With Asian men, it’s a little tougher since Asian men, on average, are more financially successful than whites and are seen as more intelligent than whites, so Asian men who are also physically appealing to the opposite sex will piss off most white guys (because that would imply that a lot of Asian men are perfect or almost perfect). So they have to find some ways to put Asian men down, whether by accusing them of being “oppressive” or “beta” or sometimes both…which is laughable because that’s so contradictory. It doesn’t matter to most white guys though, as long as they can put Asian men down (even if their logic is completely flawed).
Which is why they get so, so, so, so, so, so upset when women express interest in Asian men. They work so hard to knock Asian men down, so when a woman is interested in Asian men, it would seem like all of their hard work was in vain. I remembered a youtube video where a dorky, scrawny white guy when to Japan to ask Japanese girls’ opinions on men (white and Asian) and when some of the girls said they like their own men, he became visibly upset. It was hilarious. If I can find that video again, I’ll get back to this post.
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@natalie_ng great find
LOL
Furthermore, these rules don’t apply to Asian men who score non-Asian women. Kudos to them for finding someone who isn’t blindly following the definition of what an Asian man is “supposed to be.”
I bet this really upset white male readers. Most constantly praise wmxf dating as progressive, post-racial, and wonderful until Asian men end up with non-Asian women - especially white women. They get really upset over wf dating bm too. Wm call the Wf mudsharks and other terrible names, but turn around and insinuate Am are oppressive and claim they don’t "own " Asian women.
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Man this shit is gold. I wish more Asian chicks had the awareness that she did.
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Really hate white dudes who take offense when I dare express interest in anyone else, much less gasp asian guys. I didn’t even come for you, why are you coming for me? As if entitlement would change my mind?
