Preventing the next generations of Anna Lus
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For Asian American girls, I notice, they tend to be polar opposites and never in between. There are the girls, like myself, who only like Asian guys and there are the girls who only like white guys. It seems to be extremely rare to find AA women who are open to dating all races. For the women who are only into Asian men, it makes sense because most women are only into their own race. For the women who are only into white men, it doesn’t make so much sense. So I wanted to figure out why would anyone prioritize another race over their own, whether it’s from a lack of self-esteem or something else and how we can prevent future generations of Asian Americans of falling into white worship.
I wanted to know what caused my mindset and dating preferences (and those of other Asian girls who prefer Asian guys) to be different from those who prefer white guys. Was it the way I was raised? Was it the environment I grew up in? Was it because of my attachment to my family? To answer those questions, I actually turned to my parents.
My mom commented that I grew up watching hundreds and hundreds of Asian movies/shows and listened to Asian music constantly since I was 5 (which meant I was bombarded by images of attractive Asian men). She reminded me that throughout my teenage years, I plastered images of good looking Asian male actors/singers all over my bedroom walls, school binders and even my lockers (lol). So that might have something to do with it.
Then she went on to say, “More importantly, though, your dad’s a big influence on you.” This is accurate. My father is the most influential figure in my life. I would need to write a novel if I had to explain why and how but in short, he took the most care of me and he’s done admirable things in the past to won my (and a lot of people’s) respect.
However, I would imagine most Asian fathers to care a lot for their daughters, yet many still seem to be fine with throwing Asian men, including their fathers, under the bus.
So I asked my dad. He then half jokingly said, “You like Asian men because the men in your family are so gosh darn handsome!” While it may seem like he was joking, he was half telling the truth. I will admit that many of my uncles/cousins are attractive and have hoards of women (even non-Asian women) interested in them. My dad, himself, was told by both Chinese women and men that he looked like a cross between Chow Yun Fat and Godfrey Gao. In fact, my family is very odd–we have more AMWF in the family than we have WMAF. 3 AMWFs and 0 WMAF. We actually have a lot of female relatives, but they’re all with Asian men. Both of my female cousins who recently got married (both my age, in their early to mid twenties) married Asian guys, despite having been raised in the west like myself.
While that may have something to do with my preference, I remembered that 40% of AA women are with white men. With a number that high, at least SOME of those women have good-looking male relatives.
I read around on the internet and came across a poster on r/hapas who commented, “Asian girls who prefer Asian guys can still speak their family’s language. White-washed girls who chase white guys can only speak English.” I wasn’t too sure if this was accurate. Yes, I can speak my father’s language very fluently but I know quite a number of Asian women (including some of my coworkers) who can’t speak a lick of their ancestral language but still only dated/married Asian men. Maybe he meant Asian girls who can speak their family’s language are MORE LIKELY to prefer Asian guys?
In any case, personally (and I think I can speak for most Asian women who prefer their own men), while I do find East Asian features to be the most sexually attractive to me, my attraction to them is more than just based on looks. It also had to do with the fact that I have much more chemistry with them than men of any other race. When I talk to non-Asian guys (in my experience), the conversation doesn’t flow so smoothly and we just end up talking about the weather. Then it’s a long, awkward pause after that. When I talk to most Asian guys, sometimes we can go on for hours.
Which is why at the end of the day, it’s mind-boggling as to why someone would feel more connected to other races (especially a specific race) over their own–someone who was raised in the same environment, same culture, same upbringing. You would think familiarity is comforting. But not to white chasers, apparently.
To prevent more Anna Lus in the future, I do believe upbringing is extremely important. I do think my parents did a good job and will probably do the same for my children; more exposure to Asian media, more communication to form stronger ties with them, more encouragement to maintain our ancestral language and I will most definitely move to areas like California or Hawaii where there are large Asian populations. I will probably also have my husband be included in our kids’ lives as much as possible. Like my father was for me, I do believe having a positive Asian male figure in their lives will lessen the chance that they will become Anna Lus or Uncle Chans.
Feel free to give more suggestions or thoughts on the matter!
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@bugoutfever I’m not against calling white-worshippers Anna Lus, in fact, I’m actually supportive of it, especially since it carries a negative connotation/stigma. The way I see it is that sure, not everyone will understand the term yet but they will if the term is popularized enough. It’s like the word “ho.” Sure everyone understands the word “prostitute”, but when you’re insulting someone, saying, “Oh, you’re such a prostitute” doesn’t sound as derogatory as if you called them a ho. Like the word ho and every other slang word, if it’s stigmatized enough and popularized enough, it’ll make it to urban dictionary and eventually everyone will know what it means.
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Another example, in the Asian woman gets groped by self-entitled, fat, balding white guy in Southern California thread.
“Any Asian woman who dates white guys is abetting and encouraging this kind of behavior further.”
“And the non-white worshiping AW suffer for it.”
Just call them normal, unbrainwashed, mentally sound, w/e. These descriptors are more useful than N.W.W.
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@suiko_no_shin Wow that’s really sad
Don’t beat yourself up too much though…you were probably having your own personal problems that you needed to deal with first before you could help her with hers.My coworker had a sister-in-law that was similar to your friend. Except she never managed to get into any long-term relationships with an Asian guy, even though she badly wanted to. After a while, she gave up on Asian guys (none of the ones she knew were interested in her) and just went after white guys. I think she was doing it out of spite tbh.
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@secondstrike I don’t think there needs to be new terms. The existing terms used to explain the meaning of “anna lu/uncle chan” work just fine, ie. sellout/whitewash. What I am suggesting is introducing and focusing more on the mentally unsound aspect. Psychological attacks do much more damage.
Compare the reaction to an Asian girl trash talking Asian men (supposedly a common occurrence for Asian America, for some reason)
“typical anna lu bi#@%, this is why Asian girls are blah blah” (we’ve all heard the same unsophisticated rant before that I don’t need to write it all over again)
"This is mentally unsound. To attack your own culture/people to someone outside that group, is classic self loather seeking acceptance behaviour. She also demonstrates a severe lack of knowledge for X culture/people. To attack something that you are not really apart of in the first place, reeks of insecurity. To be honest, this person should spend less time trash talking online and go see a therapist.
Plus, at its root, these sorts of beliefs and actions should be categorized as a mental illness. Psychology is what is used to study and analyze such things. This is the case whether we are talking about the impact of media brainwashing or entertainment portrayals or traumatic personal event.
edit: To expand a little further on what the second response is actually doing. The first response is a personal attack in the form of name calling coupled with some angry generalizing rant. The second response is also a personal attack, but in a way that brings into question the mental stability of the target. It isn’t just attacking the specifics of the target’s actions, it categorizes anything like it as something wrong with the mind. I believe widespread perception that these people are mentally ill (and I believe they are) would go a long ways towards stigmatizing it.
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@natalie_ng Yep. I think her failed relationships with Asian guys pushed her to the point where she was being very promiscuous especially with white guys. At one point she took a free trip to Vegas along w/ another Asian friend of hers and two white guys. This was after a breakup with her long time Asian boyfriend. I sorta feel sad because she did want to see me after that breakup and invited me to see her but I was not at a good point in my life and I didn’t want to burden her. I think if I had my stuff together, she would’ve been my wife to this day. When we were younger, we always hung out (and she came to see me specifically) and always got along very well.
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@suiko_no_shin Wait–she stayed in the enclave but still ended up with a white guy??? o.O
@secondstrike LOL that’s half of the reason. The other half is that he simply has very nice facial features. Wow, I keep forgetting he’s in his forties…he does a great job maintaining his looks!
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@navaThrow That stuff is called orientalism (see Edward Said).There are many factors for the pairings though: hypergamy, socioeconomic, media, history of famine vs developed (lots of wars due to Western Imperialism), self hate, etc. I can’t do it justice in this post.
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@secondstrike Yeah dude I completely agree. Western culture has a history of retarded pseudo-science that tries to belittle Eastern Culture+Asian Accomplishments+ Asian people in general.
And the effects are significant and noticeable.
Black People And Asian Men Have A Much Harder Time Dating On OKCupid
Notice that women of all races heavily prefer white men in a much stronger influence than men preferring white women. And this happens across multiple years + hundreds of thousands of users. (In a more natural + non-experimental setting).
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@navaThrow Please see this https://asiansoul.org/topic/125/debunked-myths-gender-war-gender-gap-i-hate-af-i-hate-am-i-love-wm-i-love-wf
lol @ whites and their “studies”. You know, they used to “know” that Asians were stupid, frail, barbaric, untrustworthy, and wanting to yellow peril the Western civilization into annihilation. There’s much more info on this matter in the coming months.
