White supremacy and me. I can't do this anymore.
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@butterwithbutter said in White supremacy and me. I can't do this anymore.:
How do you cope with something like this?
I’ve taken a massive amount of abuse over the years. From my parents, brother, friends, random people, etc. At this point, a lot of it bounces off of me. There was a time in my early 20’s I wanted to commit suicide but in the end, I chose not to b/c that would be allowing other people to affect my own life. Somehow, my “friends” at the time found out and they laughed at me saying I had fake problems. It just further reinforced that I have to live b/c committing suicide is exactly what they want.
So from there, it took me 10 years to learn how to be happy on my own. To do things things that make me happy. Even little things. For example, every December I like to watch Christmas movies and animated specials but I put a spin on it. Last year, I did Hallmark Xmas movies vs Ion Television produced movies. Year before that, I did cinematic movies that were Christmas or happened on Christmas (like Die Hard). (I don’t actually celebrate X-mas btw)
The process to get there wasn’t easy though. I had to learn how to block extremely negative elements from affecting me. During one year, was one of the most materialistic and selfish I’ve ever seen. People were coming up with sob stories putting up GoFundMe’s (one guy even managed to profit on the Destiny forums FFS). Adam Boyes, former Indie manager of Sony bought a huge bundle for some random person on reddit for Secret Santa. He revealed himself to be the Santa to gain recognition and some PR for his company even though that’s not the point of the secret santa program. That year, I was the angriest I’d ever been b/c there I was, focusing on being happy with my minimalist attitude and all I could read online was people being completely shitty.
For me it seems that I forget about this issue that I have and just go on with my life. The thing is, whenever I become aware of it again it comes back with a vengeance. I start feeling like dying again. Although I find things to get my mind off of my issues, they come back in situations where I don’t expect them to. With that said, I still struggle with these issues, and yet I can’t find a way to solve them.
When it comes to Asian issues, I feel that way too. I never used to be embroiled into these issues b/c I practically isolated myself. But when I poked my head out to find what the state of dating as Asian was, I got thrown into all kinds of bullshit. I knew about the insane ratio of WMAF before but now there’s 10x more baggage that comes with that. Whether I care about WMAF or not, it’s about how that foundation is a complex interconnected series of problems that honestly seems impossible to tackle. If it was just WMAF, I could deal with that. But it’s not.
What about you keeps you going?
Even though I may die alone, One day, things will unravel on itself. Something that’s so wrong on a fundamental level cannot continue forever. SJW’s will kill themselves and I suspect that their violent rhetoric will be their downfall as they are already shifting from words to physical violence. Feminism doesn’t work b/c it’s present state is about demonizing men and taking things away from men. On a societal level it’s a disaster b/c people are already more alone than ever and more hateful to each other than any other period in American history. It might take a long time and we personally might not benefit from it but one day I hope to see it go down in flames.
Do you believe that we will someday prevail over all of the bullshit that we have and still endure? I for one am unsure about our existence and how we as a people can overcome our enemies.
As for Asian issues, I don’t think we’ll ever get there in our lifetime. It took the Jews several hundred years but those people didn’t have self-haters. Their women stuck by their men and they all became educated in different fields, dominated the fields and locked out everyone else from doing the same. With Asian women the way they are, they have no awareness or foresight and will never see the path. Hapas are the next generation but with WMAF hapas being the way they are, I’m unsure if they’ll ever be our salvation either. There is absolutely no unity in Asians or half-Asians.
I do believe that there is a solution to every problem, but would it be worth fighting? Even if there is some sort of solution to our problems, would it even be worth our time, effort, resources, and even possibly our bloodshed?
The Jews did it. I even have a blueprint as to how the men did their part. It’s doable but I don’t think Asians will ever unify to the appropriate level to pull it off.
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How do you cope with something like this? For me it seems that I forget about this issue that I have and just go on with my life. The thing is, whenever I become aware of it again it comes back with a vengeance. I start feeling like dying again. Although I find things to get my mind off of my issues, they come back in situations where I don’t expect them to. With that said, I still struggle with these issues, and yet I can’t find a way to solve them. What about you keeps you going? Do you believe that we will someday prevail over all of the bullshit that we have and still endure? I for one am unsure about our existence and how we as a people can overcome our enemies. I do believe that there is a solution to every problem, but would it be worth fighting? Even if there is some sort of solution to our problems, would it even be worth our time, effort, resources, and even possibly our bloodshed? I want to have a genuine hope that someday we will conquer our oppressors. I want to believe that there is a way out of this hellhole and into a paradise fit for people like us. Though I can only wish, I don’t know if we can actually do this…
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@butterwithbutter Hey bro I understand what you’re saying and what you’re going through, but remember that the world needs people like you. The worst problem with asian people and people in general is that they’re so used to the world being a certain way that they can’t imagine things being different to the way it currently is. You’re different and that makes you special. What you are feeling right now is called activist burnout and is a totally natural phenomena. It’s easy to get depressed when you finally realize the fact that the majority of society is more than fine with the idea of certain groups being discriminated against and oppressed so long as it doesn’t affect them personally.
For what it’s worth, my advice is to just focus on your own life. You have to walk before you can run. You have to be somebody to help bring about real change in this world. So just do what you gotta do in your career, your personal life, whatever. If life starts getting a little too hard, then come here and vent and then go back out there and do it again. In the end we’re all in this together.
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@butterwithbutter said in White supremacy and me. I can't do this anymore.:
It has destroyed my confidence, my own self worth, and even has damaged my functionality within society.
I understand how you feel. In my childhood to early teen years (like 13-14) I lived in an Asian enclave. I had many friends (both male and female) and felt like I could achieve anything. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when my teacher in 6th grade was putting together a play on Julius Caesar, I went to try out for the role of Julius Caesar. No matter how well I did, she shot me down. Then I tried out for the roles of the other characters. She kept shooting me down. It wasn’t until I hit Cassius that she brought me onto the play. Cassius was one of the bad guys. The kid who got the role of Julius Caesar was the whitest, blondest kid in the class. I’m pretty damn sure the real Caesar wasn’t that white. That’s how white he was. Further, he wasn’t even as good as me.
After I moved out of the enclave, was the worst times of my life and affected me into adulthood. I used to be popular so I didn’t understand why everyone was being so terrible to me. There was no reason for it. First it was for no reason, second they started making up reasons, and third their actions were at the edge of inciting violence because of how much they hated me. Yes, I’ve been in fights because of it. In High School, I became further entrenched and isolated from other people. I had my own group and sort of created a super network of gamers and anime fans but I was shut off towards everyone else (most of my friends were similar). I didn’t care about girls and none ever tried to talk to me. Everyone I’ve ran across has always given me the cold shoulder or cold treatment (sometimes outright hostile). So that’s why I never made the effort to talk to other girls. I’ve had SO MANY of this type of experience and these were my classmates. Again, I didn’t know why. I’m always courteous to everyone and coming into HS, I even upgraded fashion-wise.
At some point I just didn’t care anymore. I was behind on my credits, so I dropped out of HS at Senior year (I did not want to come back). Got my GED. Got a job, again discriminated against by women (there was an altercation where a rude woman butted into a conversation between me and another woman). Hit the bamboo ceiling (which is ridiculous b/c it was just a retail job) I got frustrated and left, party b/c they were going to do an investigation over me blowing up on that woman. After I left that job, things started going further downhill as interviews were going really bad (one point being laughed at). I clearly meet qualifications so I don’t understand why this was happening. It’s not until now that I realize it was b/c of race. Whether it was a Latino or a White person, one of those two have always been incredibly racist and discriminatory.
To this day, I have a huge problem forming social circles and making friends. I can’t/won’t talk to women because of my extreme negative experiences. I even have a problem with money because I have an extreme fear of rejection and being judged. The only place I can work at is home b/c that way they can’t discriminate towards me since they can’t see me and I work alone, so no one really cares whether or not I’m Asian and they want to be around me or not.
I know that a post like this may be offputting to many of you, but I am simply expressing my own thoughts and life to people that I think can relate to my pain the most.
I was banned from Twitter for making threats against PAA’s. I wanted to beat the shit out of them, whether it was women or not, because they were directly contributing to making life hell for us. They had no idea what they were doing. What they were saying was literally putting people’s lives in danger and they didn’t give a shit while they sit there in safety without a trouble in the world. They’ve never seen the real conflict out there against Asian people and I find it disgusting that they are using our race to manufacture these non-existent problems.
I. CAN’T. DO. A SINGLE. FUCKING. THING. I don’t know how you guys cope with this; maybe it isn’t nearly as bad for most of you as it is for me.
The only thing that’s driving me is moving to Asia. I have a knack for learning languages. In my teen years, I translated Japanese RPG’s b/c I was so passionate about playing them. The goal of moving to Asia is all I have left. When I get there, I’m still going to be alone. Being repressed in American society has left me in a state that makes it incredibly hard to relate to anybody, even if I’m among 100% Asians. I’m in a state of constant mistrust and hate for other people.
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@butterwithbutter This is the absolutely wrong time to give up. If you look at the trajectory of Western imperialism, it is unsustainable. All the empires have come and gone. Empires and their reserve currencies status die off in tandem.
The American petrodollar system that underpins the foundation of American and thus, white supremacy, is weakening.
Furthermore, they are no longer technologically superior by a large enough margin to subjugate non-whites indefinitely eg mutually assured destruction by nukes.
